“‘Why are there so many marriages on the verge of breaking up? More single women than their are single men. The same old tired games being played by men that unfortunately some women are still falling for.”
“Listen up ladies,” we got to be smarter than we’ve been lately. Our pursuit of having a meaningful monogamous relationship is slipping right through our hands because we are not doing our homework. We’re getting older and our children are getting married before we do. Can you imagine sitting down with your son or daughter discussing their marital issues but not being able to relate? This can and will happen if we don’t set boundaries and stick to them.
Steve Harvey’s book, “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man,” had just been published when my son bought it for me as a Valentine’s Day gift. When I started to read it, I couldn’t put it down because I was drawn by not only the content but it’s delivery. Steve is very delicate in his approach as he gives us the 411 on men’s strategies and schemes in their hunting pursuits. This book was an eye opener for me because I could relate to many of the scenarios that were addressed.
If you haven’t already read the book and/or might want to buy it, you can purchase it right here. The link is on the right for your convenience. Also check out below our contributing writers perspectives on the book. Feel free to make your own comments as we would love to read them.
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It is my goal to provide a platform for us to talk about real issues that plague us and our community. Join me in getting to the heart of the matter. Thank you in advance for your participation.
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A Female’s Perspective by Monica Piggott, Family & Marriage Consultant, Suwanee, Georgia
I had a chance to sit down with Monica to get her take on the book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey. Monica admitted that she enjoyed reading the book and would recommend it, however she did disagree wtih some of the authors methods for maintaining relationships. Monica believes the book is good for anyone who is open to taking advice from a man who is comfortable enough to call the boys out on the carpet.
Here is what she had to say . . .
Sharla: Considering the book was written by a “secular author,” were there moments in the book where your points of view collided?
Monica: Yes, first the author considers himself to be a Christian, yet his views, ideas, and morals were not seen in any part of the book. For example he gave a time of 90 days for a woman to feel comfortable being intimate with a man. As a Christian he doesn’t encourage purity or celibacy. His book should let women know that men would have a hard time with this. Also that they may leave because their not ready to enter into that level of commitment.
Sharla: Is the author really saying anything new? If so what?
Monica: Yes and no, I read a lot about relationships and I facilitate couples to get them back on track. However I know many women who would be amazed by some of the things Steve talks about in his book. What I found to be interesting were the three areas that are very important to men…1.) who he is; 2.) what he does; 3.) how much he makes. The author says these areas gives men their identity and if any of these things are out of order, men feel they are not doing what’s needed to keep their family together. I found this to be enlightening.
Sharla: Can what the author wrote be applied to everyone irregardless of their cultural background?
Monica: Yes, however you will find some men who would not agree with him 100%. Some men were raised with different perspectives when it comes to women and their relationship with them. Christian men who have a solid relationship with God understands that their role as men being united with women is better defined by the bible. Nevertheless Steve is presenting the way most men think…not all men.
Sharla: Is there any advice or tips you would use from this book in your one on one sessions? If so, what?
Monica: Yes, to stress the importance of taking your time in a relationship would be an understatement. We need to take heed to what men say to us. It does not take long to figure a man out. They are not as complicated as women.
In spite of what you hear, men know what they want…and they know when they only want to have a good time. I remember listening to a tape and a pastor made this statement, “if you are interested in marriage and are looking for marriage material then don’t waist your time with a man who only wants to have a good time and get you in bed while at it.”
My advice is, “YOU ARE READY TO BE MARRIED WHEN YOU ARE READY TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BY YOURSELF.” Set high standards and you will attract a man of high standards.
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A Male’s Perspective by Kevin Tucker, Professional Counselor, MA – Sandy Springs, Georgia
Sitting down with Kevin to discuss this very popular book I must say I was excited to hear a male perspective on this topic. Kevin says he would recommend this book to all women and men. He feels the author, Steve Harvey, has set a base for dating and for people who are in a relationship. As a male Kevin believes that women should set boundaries and have respective values. He says it’s like having a job, there are rules and policies put in place for good reasons, and if one breaks these rules they are destined for failure.
Here are the other comments Kevin made about the book . . .
Sharla: Considering the book was written by a “secular author,” where there moments in the book where your points of view collided?
Kevin: Yes, as a Christian the 90 day rule is not biblical, unless they get married on the 90th day.
Sharla: Is the author really saying anything new? If so what?
Kevin: I can actually say there wasn’t anything new that comes to mind about relationships.
Sharla: Can what the author wrote be applied to everyone irregardless of their cultural background?
Kevin: As an African American male, I feel the author was general. What the author has written can be applied to Christians, Jews, and Muslims. I found one thing that really comes to mind as a Christian man, and that is sex. I say this because the bible states that we should not have sex until we are married. The author gives a time table of 90 days.
Sharla: Is there any advice or tips you would use from this book in your one on one sessions? If so, what?
Kevin: There are several things I would use, for example:
1. Women should really pay attention to (who he is, what he does, and how much he makes).
2. We want to be the provider.
3. We want to feel needed, I can recall a situation when I dated a young lady years ago and she had everything. “No real man wants to date a women who she has everything,” we men must feel needed.
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